Thoughts become things, but which one to choose?

OK, so by now you either have heard about the Law of Attraction and forgot about it for the next exciting thought or the idea sparked your interest and you have pursued it. For the former you should at least remember the basics.

The general theory behind the law of attraction is that when you give focus to a particular thought your brain and/or body emanates a frequency that is in line with the thought. This frequency attracts likeminded people and events into you experience.

The challenge that that any modern person faces is the lack of focus, our working lives are continually revised for efficiency and money saving, selective jobs are cut and the remainder are required to multitask and spread their focus. As a result of this lifestyle, our ability to consciously manifest our desires has been limited as we have created a habit to ignore focus or specialised abilities. To really experience a desire one must pay great attention to it, be open and active towards opportunities that happen during the path of this desire.

So how do you reverse the conditioning to manifest your desires and still become an effective member of the workplace? It’s not that easy and requires a constant focus of its own. First you have to create a habit of focus, for an employee this a great challenge and also a great opportunity to learn.

Creating the habit of focus.

The trick is to “unitask” and allocate blocks of time between each item of focus, these tasks may have people attached to them and those people are expecting those tasks to be done NOW so they in turn can get their tasks for someone else that requested them NOW and so on. Be firm with these people, for if you let them push you then you end up spreading your focus and attention, leaving you without your desires. To get rid of these people tis best to be radically honest about your objectives and goals and why exactly you are doing this task for them, say how this benefits you, a lot of people seriously don’t understand why they are working for an employer but yet if those same people were to have a business or contract themselves out the picture becomes clear because they are aware of the goal. Here is an example of what you could say in a typical office environment.

“Tom, I have five tasks to work on today, yours is third in the list. The more I have to stop and talk the longer it is going to take”

Obviously you have to be diplomatic about it and if you continue to act in a rational way with these sorts of replies then people will know that it isn’t personal, don’t say sorry, are you really sorry about it? It’s important to let people know your intentions, you’re doing this for the benefit of the company or the team, the better you can focus on each task the less stressed you will be and therefore the less stress you are projecting to your nearby colleagues.

Using the habit.

1. What. Once you have the habit focus its time to apply it to your desires, think of what you really want, not a medium (money) but the end result e.g. A beautiful garden, a great body, that perfect wave, a great home etc.

2. Why. Although this point may not sound relevant it certainly is as it will allow you to focus on what you want for a longer period of time, instead of thinking everyone wants that think of why you want it, is it something you believe will bring you confidence or perhaps quality of life? E.g. I want a great home because it makes me feel comfortable and I want to feel proud of my surroundings.

3. How. The how is easier than a lot of people think, when you give pure focus towards a thing then opportunities arise, it makes perfect sense. No, this hurdle depends entirely on fear, can you ultimately get over the fear of spending money or the fear of being embarrassed? Really this fear is about loss, the best way to deal with feared loss is to think about what you would do if that loss actually happened, don’t focus on the loss itself but on your recovery from the loss, your rise from the ashes. Where’s the fear now huh?

Focus on the desire, focus on the potential!

The Most Important Relationship You’ll Ever Have!!

Oscar Wilde said
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance”

I’m here to tell you – YES it is!

Love is not something you find in a shop window or a glass of wine. It’s not something that you eat to fill your self up. Love is not something you stumble upon or find in the guy or girl you met last week or will meet tomorrow.
Well sure you might be a little happier and a little entertained for the moment, but these people and things will never complete you, not until you have recognized and created love for yourself.

So why is this important?

If you are not kind to self then how could you extend that hand of kindness to another? You could try, but there will always be a feeling of resentment because you will be dedicating energy outwardly without ever knowing what it feels like inwardly.
Now I’m a lover of practicing random acts of kindness towards others, but only if you do it for yourself first.

Our self worth stems from a place of love or lack there of.  Where are you in your life at the current moment?
Are you merely surviving living a routine life, yet are completely empty on the inside?  You know working a 9 to 5 Monday to Friday or maybe you don’t work because you can’t be bothered or maybe you’re in a job that pays good money but robs your soul.
And so then what do you fill yourself up with?  Do you get drunk on weekends? Do you overeat or smoke or do you have a lot of casual sex to fill a void; to compensate for a loss? And in this process do you feel that you are losing yourself?

What do you tell yourself to convince yourself that tomorrow things will be better,  that tomorrow you will be happier?
You know that voice that reassures you that when I’ve finished my degree I’ll be free or when I’ve paid off all my debt, or this or that or that or this.

Do you have an inner critic?
Do you tell yourself that you’re too fat, too thin, too ugly? Do you tell yourself that she/he has it better or they came from a good family? Do you say to yourself that you’ll never make it even if you are doing all that you can to get there?

We could blame our generation for the thoughts and fears they have filled us with. We could blame our parents for the conditioning they imposed on us. We could blame the media for programming us to think we lack, we are less or we are never good enough. We could blame it on bad childhoods, a war we escaped, sickness, death or our lack of education.
These are all choices we make because perhaps we find an excuse in all of them to explain why we are here, why we are unhappy, unorganised, unfulfilled.
It’s simple. If you want different results then change your actions.
It always starts with you. It always starts with your choice. All you have to do is decide to take your power back and it’s yours.

Here are my suggestions…..

MIRROR

Inner feelings reflect outwardly.

I’d like you to stand in the mirror and look at yourself. What do you see?
Who is looking at you? What are the inner voices telling you? Are they putting you down? Do you feel silly?

Remember your mistakes. Remember your failures and regrets.
Now forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for all the bad choices you made in the past. Self-love cannot come into being without this step. You must find compassion for yourself and it begins with forgiving everything and everyone that you see in the mirror.
Perhaps this is the time that the demons of your childhood come to haunt you. Your parents may have been abusive. Know that they did the best they could at the time. Forgive them. (This could be hard)

So I grew up in a war torn country. In a blink of an eye I lost my house, my country, my childhood and my identity.  I carried resentment, pain and confusion for many years. My youth was somewhat unhealthy, experimental and self-sabotaging. My life was filled with pain and self-loathing. I was angry at the world. When I finally looked in the mirror I realised I was angry with myself. I was angry at how much power I had given away. I was angry I let bad things come into my life. I had love for everyone but myself. This is what I thought.
Then one day I decided to simply forgive. It took a while but I forgave my past and I forgave myself. You can too.

CHOICE

Everything is a choice. Every thought, every word and every action is a choice. Feelings are choices, which manifest as a result of our thinking. So if you are feeling sad, depressed, angry or alone check your thoughts. Remember that it really is a matter of perception.
Quantum physics talks about the notion that thoughts create our lives.
They do!
What ever you think about you become.
I spent a lot of my youth believing I was not worthy. I spent a lot of my youth thinking I was not deserving. I put everybody before myself. It was simply easier to care of others and I couldn’t do it anymore. So I decided to take control.
I took control by changing my thinking. I began thinking ~ Wow I have a new house, a new country, a new life and a new identity. Most importantly I made a choice and decided I was to have a new perspective. Had I not experienced what I experienced I wouldn’t be where I am now. Now I live in a country where I have my independence and freedom. Perhaps I wouldn’t have had these in the same capacity had I stayed where I was. I am very certain I wouldn’t have the same insight into the meaning of life.

Make a choice to give up the victim that prevents you from completely loving yourself. Make a choice to give up the victim part of you that holds you back from living your full potential.

HONOUR YOUR TRUTH

Honour yourself. Listen to what every part of your body and soul tells you. If it hurts then question it. Pain is just an entity that fights for survival within all of us. After you make a choice to change your perspective then it is up to you to live your truth.
Honour your feelings. Listen to the messages they are telling you.
So if you are in a job or a relationship that’s just not doing it for you then stop and think about why you are still there. For some of us it’s the comfort factor, laziness, and routine. For many of us its fear.
They say we are more afraid of our success then we are of failure! If your job is making you physically ill or if you are bored, then your soul is crying out for you to leave. Your soul is trying to communicate through your body.
Why aren’t you listening? What are you afraid of? Why are you still there?

Now I’ve walked this one many times, recently in fact. I stayed somewhere because it was comfortable. I made a thousand excuses why I couldn’t leave. The truth was I was afraid. I simply lost the trust in the universe and myself. My body kept talking to me. It broke down and broke down and broke down. Until
I finally surrendered. The very next day the perfect job basically landed in my lap. It happened so quickly because I finally went back to myself and started living my truth again.

The same goes for relationships. They hurt because there is no more room for growth. So you grow apart and you keep going, hoping that a miracle will happen overnight. You hold on because you are afraid of finding yourself alone.
So you continue living a lie because at least you are alone with somebody else.
Self-love does not let you do this and to give love to another you must first learn to love yourself.

To honour yourself you must live your truth.

UNIVERSAL LOVE

Once you begin living your truth through the acknowledgment of your true feelings and desires the Universal love pours all over you. Remember that the source of love can never come from the outside. However you look at the Universe, God or whatever you choose to call it – it will always come from within. You are the Universe. You contain all the knowledge, joy, love and power you’ll ever need. It’s always in the last place you look. Yourself.

So spend some time with yourself.

Begin by nurturing your body with nourishing foods and liquids. And when you eat – take your time to enjoy every bite and every moment. When you take a sip of water visualise that you’re drinking love. It really is that simple because each bite you eat, each sip you drink you are actually feeding your body; the vehicle that transports you through this life.

Do what you love.

So if you hate your job. Quit!
Forget the money and the how’s and what’s. Notice that you’re unhappy and decide that you no longer have to do anything that deprives you of yourself.
Give up toxic relationships. Don’t stay because it’s easy, because in 1, 2, 5 or 10 years it will become unbearable.

Date yourself.

Go and do something you enjoy. Write, sing, see a play, go for a swim. Do this weekly at least.

Invest in yourself.

Take a course or read a book about something that interests you. Further your personal education and your future success potential.

Lastly put yourself first.

If you don’t – they won’t.
Your success depends on the relationship you choose to have with yourself. I can say this over and over and over again, but you will only see results if you start living it. Everything begins with a first step. Where are you standing right now?
Be honest.

Imagine.

Now visualise yourself in the future. Imagine a perfect day where you are loving yourself. What does this day look like for you? What does it feel like?

Understand that there will always be barriers and limitations and challenges. Walk through them anyway and remember the Universe has always got your back.

Truly!!!

JUST LOVE YOURSELF WILL YOU!?

The rest will follow I promise.

Happy loving = happy living
Mialove xx

Time is your friend not the enemy!

So many people are constantly cursing time. Time is the enemy. I’m always running out of time. Those kids have too much time on their hands. What a waste of my time… the list goes on…

Time is a very powerful force in our reality. Essentially, it stops everything from happening all at once. It gives us spaces between events. It gives us purpose to build up motion, momentum. Without time, the process of our life would be immeasurable. Age would not matter and events would cease to exist: much like us.

Even looking a time as merely linear, (although there are schools of thought which would argue for it being more complex than that) the simplicity of time, gives us a boundary.

Imagine this scenario; you are the only thing in the universe. There is you, just floating around, then, suddenly a line is drawn; it is the ground. Suddenly, there is definition. There is something separate from yourself. You are now bound by gravity and are brought to the ground, and there is sky. Now take this example and apply it to time.

Time is like the line that is drawn. It acts as a grounding force, and as definition. Rather than events being all jumbled or occurring simultaneously, this would make any thought of your own, incomprehensible. How could you separate events let alone your consciousness from everyone else? Just like in the example above, what is the difference between yourself and the universe, or nothing, without anything else there to define you?

This line, a timeline, gives your consciousness, your existence a way of understanding itself. A way of separating itself from others, from the jumble of thoughts and parallels in a connected space. So really, rather than cursing time we should be praising it. And appreciating the wonder of it.

Even if you do appreciate time, this is not to say when the bus does run late you won’t get annoyed, or if being sick feels like an eternity of pain. Sometimes it feels like the good times are over in a flash, and sometimes that pay cheque does come early. Like anything in life, it has its good and bad moments. But, beyond what time delivers us, how can we make it work to our advantage?

Well, I’m no professional theorist (or not in the literary sense) however, I know that thoughts affect things. And what you think about, you create. Let us take a side step here to put some factors of life into context. There are few ways you can categorise your things in your life. On a SIMPLE level: who, what, where, when, why and how.’ Let us break it down in a simplified manner.

When, is obviously the factor of time. As we’re discussing. Although time overrides us in a general sense, we may chose to be somewhere at a certain point, or go to the show now, or in a hour, or whenever you like. Many factors affect when this event could take place. I shall return to this point later.

Without going into too much detail, Who, what, where is the context, the situation involved in that time. Who, could be myself, yourself, the cat in the room, the lovely lady on the magazine or the old man across the street. The millions of people affect our life directly or indirectly. What, is the goings on. The context. The parts. The ice-cream is what I’m about to eat. The chair I’m going to sit on. A professional I desire to be, say a doctor. Where, the place of any event. The football field, the corner shop I buy the ice-cream. These are the main things we have control over in our lives, and are at the front of our awareness.

The driving force behind acquiring or wanting these factors, or the Why, are the motivator; the reasons we go through time seeking out such things. Why I chose what ice-cream to by, why I chose where to buy it. Why I wanted it when I did. And beyond that, why, is also the key to the lessons we learn, and how we make sense of it all and to give it meaning.

How is our way of doing things. It gives us a way of planning to make things happen a certain way. And how, although we have some control over, is ultimately what you leave up to the universe.

So bringing this back to time, why did I just go through all of that. As I said, time affects things. And all of the types of things mentioned above. Our choices often involve the who, what and when. And there are many reasons why we want such things. It may be a simple thing, like wanting an ice-cream, now, from this place. But beyond something that is easily attainable and clearly obvious which direction you should take to acquire it, so many people use time as an excuse to not get what they want. Or, they see it as an obstacle. In the end, it is all an excuse.

How many people do you hear go, I wish I had the time to do such and such but I’m just too busy. And very rarely do people disagree. They simply go along with this notion. Yes time is a governing factor but it doesn’t have to be your master. You can make time work for you, yes you heard me!

Ok, so you want to go on a holiday to Bali for a week. The excuse list is as such: oh I can’t have time off work, I have to work more hours to be able to afford it etc etc… list another million excuses here. The universe and time reward commitment to an idea. Over time, the force behind this commitment grows stronger, until something has to come of it. The first and most simple step is this:

1. Make a date, a time, and write it down

Ok, this sounds so simple, but you’re never going to get to that holiday if you don’t try to set a date. So the holiday isn’t next week – I’m not being totally unrealistic. But giving yourself a point in time, a deadline, gives you something to work towards.

Now you’ve made the first step! What do you do?

1. Make an action, towards this goal, to build momentum

Go up to your boss, and set a date for say 6 months from now. Congratulations! Guess what you have just done!? You have made an action resulting in your goal becoming closer in time. You’ve given yourself time to make other smaller steps, to make this goal come to realisation! Giving yourself a limit or a deadline in time, acts as an anchor. It grounds your goal, to a point in time, so it gives you reason to make small steps towards this point on the horizon. Soon enough you will be sailing away on that cruise ship like you wanted. But not so fast, just remember, once you’ve made initial action

1. You must continue to make small steps along the way to reach your desired goal

Book the cruise ship. Work an extra hour a week to save up some spending money. Get your passport ready. Pack your suitcase, organise for your kids or pets to be looked after, get to the port and sail away. Now when you break it down, is it really that hard?

People get so lost in thinking about how complicated a scenario is as a whole, and forget to break it down into parts. Why leave everything to the last minute and be so stressed out? Time ALLOWS you stop everything from needing to be done all at once – if you have that option, why not take it?

Plan early, break it down into little segments. And this doesn’t just apply to the big things. It applies to all areas of life. Don’t wake up and go ‘I have so much cleaning to do!’ write a list. Decide what needs to be done now. Decide what can wait. The worst you can do is to do nothing. So don’t panic and then procrastinate. Make the most of a precious gift that has been given to you!

I will leave you with this notion for now, and give you time to practice this: later I will discuss perhaps some of the more abstract notions of time, and how intention, can affect outcomes, in ways you couldn’t imagine!

Non-Duality and the Law of Attraction

I’m sure most of you know about the Law of Attraction, I’ve been studying this for well over a year now and I see examples of its existence everywhere I go. From my perspective (human) it can sprout from the most simple and trivial things such as imagining and expecting a traffic light to stay green as I pass through it or to have a thought about a friend only to find them calling or messaging me in the next instant. According to the layout of my thoughts, the Law of Attraction exists and works!

Duality is another existential theory by humans and is also a theory that works (by ‘works’ I mean there is no though that can counteract its existence). Duality means that there is an opposite to every ‘describing thing’ in this world, there is dark to light; bad to good; closed to open; down to up and so on.

The idea of Duality and it’s ironical opposite Anti-Duality sprouted from eastern religions such as Taoism or Buddhism. These religions understood that the one ‘describing thing’ can not exist without its opposite, that if you have one you must have the other for existence to ‘exist’. Example, we fight towards evil on film, in books and even in real war (the other side in war always being a ‘perceived evil’). If this evil was taken away, completely eradicated then good would also cease. We wouldn’t just have no reason to fight, we would have no reason to exist (if our side were ‘good’) at all! Therefore both must exist, proving Duality, but more importantly, proving Non-Duality.

So how does the Law of Attraction tie in with Non-Duality?

After much reflection and practice the idea came to me that as simple humans we identify and react to Duality at a conscious level, but we don’t realise we are doing it. This puts confusion about consciousness as you’re meant to be self aware of it. Perhaps it is really the subconscious making the thought, but pushing it frontside.

When we are exposed to one thing, primarily a negative experience we think about being in the other (mostly opposite) experience (the grass is always greener on the other side). Example, when it is dark, we consciously seek a way to experience light unless we are aware that we have to be in darkness (photographic dark room etc). On the other hand, it can’t always be light so we would seek darkness either by relocating, adjusting the light level or simply closing our eyes for a break, thus acting out the affirmation.

Study nature, see how each living thing works, nature knows that it can’t have everything that is positive, often, plants die so that others can live, the Acacia species is an excellent example of the need for destruction before creation can occur, the seed has a hard coated shell which needs to be exposed to fire or damage before the sprout can push through, once the seed has been damaged, the plant is free to grow.

Embrace the sickness for it will show you immense gratitude of being healthy.

Be happy that you are poor, for if you are, then you don’t need to be rich.

Experience a thing, but be prepared to let it go!

Learn to communicate with yourself

By not communicating with yourself you are missing out on conversing with the one person that knows you the best.
Is there a problem that is bugging you and you just wish you could talk to someone about it?. Or only if the person you were talking to really knew what was going on in your head or your heart. Or you find that you just can’t find the right words to get out how you are feeling?
You hold all the answers in the universe and you know yourself better than anyone else. Why would you NOT communicate with yourself.
By using your internal dialogue to talk to yourself, ask yourself the questions to the problems that you are facing. Instead of saying to yourself “I’m not happy with this” turn it into a question, why not ask “Why am I unhappy with this”. Search yourself for the answer.
Learning to communicate with yourself will open lots of doors. You will learn more about yourself and you will share yourself with others and then in turn others will trust you more.

Doing this on a regular basis will increase your skills at getting through the hurdles that come along on life’s path. Why let yourself down by not giving it a go?

Improve your mental flexibility

Quick post from Lifehacker. Improve your mental flexibility by making changes to chores and tasks that you’ve developed a solid routine for.

Improve your willpower by shifting your tooth brushing hand [Lifehacker]

If you carry the pain from the past

You may find that it will block you from experiencing something magical and even better in the future

Open your heart

Be that person

You see that happy person over there?

He is positive in every situation, it appears that he is lucky and everything goes his way, it all just falls into place.

You might see him and feel a pang of envy, you think (or say) “Why do bad things always happen to me and not him?” or “why can’t I have what he has?”

Well I say that you can have it and all it takes are a few thoughts and a creation of habit. Read on.

1.   Study life. Think about the past (but don’t dwell), this is like a lesson review after you’ve already taken the exam, no stress and really easy. Remember how you reacted or felt during a good/bad situation. Also how did other people around you react? Did they draw closer or were they pushed away? Use these two questions to gauge what you did right or wrong, learn from this.

2.   Change your perception. Realise that perceived good and bad things happen throughout everyone’s life; shift your thinking and see that there is neither a good or bad situation but the ‘good or bad’ actually comes from you (this was a big AH-HA moment for me). By this same line of thinking you can see that a good cannot exist without a bad, therefore they must be equal. An easy word to sum this up is EXPERIENCE. You will always have experience whether it be good or bad so if you want to feel perceivably good about a situation then treat it as an experience, you will find that your thought pattern will shift and you will start to be ‘that person’.

3.    Learn by doing. Who cares if you don’t get it right the first few times, what does matter is that you are aware that you’re doing it (which can be quite hard especially when you’re stressed), don’t just be a robot and react to situations, understand how and why you are reacting. An example is if you have a car accident, you may have broken legs, a broken car and and an amount of emotional pain as well, but try and find how you have learnt from the situation happening, it might be hard to figure out, but there is always something to learn. Remember that the pain comes from you, so you can control it.

4.   Easier done than said! This is how I transformed my life, but it didn’t just pop into my head, I studied books and formed habits (this is important).  Below are a few books I can recommend that helped me transform. Read and understand them but always develop your own ideas.

Ask and It Is Given – Esther and Jerry Hicks

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Who moved my cheese?

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. – Lao Tsu

3 Quotes on Life

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.

- Dorothy Thompson

Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.

- Henry James

The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain.

- Lord Byron

The important thing is not to stop questioning…

“The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”
— Albert Einstein

Everyday we use words to communicate. We communicate with others and ourselves. Our internal dialogue is using words.
And our communication is only going to be as good as the words we use. So if we are using negative words then how are we suppose to feel good about ourselves?
If we use empowering words then we are going to feel empowered.

Every thought and idea that comes into your brain is a result of asking yourself a question. So again, if you use negative or limiting questions then you are going to get negative or limiting answers.
So if you use empowering questions then you are going to get empowering answers.

If you combine the two you are going to be able to get through your day, develop yourself as a person and help the people around you to empower themselves.

What empowering questions have you asked yourself today?
“What makes you happy?”
“What could make you happy?”
“What do I want to bring into my life?”
“What can I do to change this right now?”
“What can I learn from this?”
“What is the truth about this issue?”
“What do you stand for?”
“How can you add value to someone’s life today?”

Jem Lang