Improving Yourself By Having Tolerance For Others

Something I have always had trouble with in the past is having tolerance for other people. The level of tolerance always varied depending on how much this person would annoy or insult me.

I realise now (moreso with adults) that this annoyance was 99% unintentional.

Social standing mainly depends upon your verbal interaction and spontaneity, an easy way to increase social standing is simply to ‘Make em Laugh’, when you inflict a positive emotion on another person they will subconsciously increase their attraction to you – beit friendship attraction or love attraction. As a result of this a huge chunk of our communication is often trying to make people laugh, even to the point when we automatically think ‘how can i make a joke out of this’ when in a particular situation or social encounter.

This leads to a sort of a desperation for some people to turn anything into an attempt to be funny. Unfortunately this usually results in a response of silence or perhaps animosity from those around him/her. This is an example of tolerance leading to disrespect among his/her peers.

What I have learnt to do is display this level of tolerance, but also let the other person know my true feelings towards the social mishap, this needs a particular level of radical honesty. Truly – from my experiences with this type of circumstance – honesty IS the best policy.

Let them finish. If you interrupt the person half way through their conversation or feat then you will only manage to insult their ego, this means that they will not listen to a constructive word you say. Show tolerance and patience, they will respect you and listen to you more when it’s your turn to correct them.

Be as honest as you can be. People’s minds are evolving, they are able to handle their emotions and accept critisism a lot easier. If they do seem upset at the time, it’s a good chance that they will return to you with apologies and acceptance later on if you are truly honest. Once they see that you are not trying to insult them, rather observe and gently critisise.

See the situation from their viewpoint. Were you once like them? If so it would make it a lot easier to ‘be in their shoes’. If not, make use of your creative mind and imagine what it would be like doing or saying the things that they have just said.

Most of the time it’s just a case of inexperience which is why we make mistakes in the first place. Know that you had made the same faux pas in the past and realise that your experience now – with the other person’s willingness to listen – can allow an accellerated growth of that person.

And becuase of that you will have someone that respects and really listens to you in the future. Always a Win – Win situation.

I’ll leave you with an interesting exerpt from a book i’m reading (A.H. Maslow – The Farther Reaches of Human Nature). He references a letter that he received from a religious lady, this is what inspired this article.

God sees and loves us in our present condition and yet sees our potential and requires of us growth toward the potential. As we become more Godlike, can we not too, be accepting of a person in his present state while beckoning to him to take the next step?